The Concert

Oh man, was it a total blast! A little frustrating at the beginning because we unfortunately had to stand behind this guy in the Will Call line that took forever! So we ended up missing the first song and a half of Jars of Clay but when we finally got to our seats, we saw Dan! And Steve! And Charlie! And Matt! My boys! I love them!

Jars of Clay were amazing. They wore these sweet tennis outfits with tight white pants and jackets and looked awesome! Of course, the music was fantastic. They sang three songs from their new EP, which we later got for $5 and is AMAZING. Their new song, Closer, is absolutely fantastic! (Favorite line: You're the L and the V, I'm the O and the E). Some songs were from Good Monsters and all the usual classic Jars songs. The sad part was that it was WAY too short of a set. It was only about thirty minutes and thirty minutes of Jars of Clay is about two hours too short :)

However, just after they got off stage, they headed down to the merchandise area and we stood in life to wait and meet them. They were taking pictures and signing autographs and chatting and I was so excited! I knew that it was going to be a slightly quicker meet and greet than with me and Tessa in Walla Walla but still, you never miss a chance to meet your favorite group! The lady in front of us, when she came up to Dan, the lead singer (the guy in the middle of the pic below), said "oh, thank you so much, i love your ministry, etc.., etc". Compare that with me who got up to him and was like "Yeah, well, I just love you!" He was so sweet- they all were- signing stuff for us, including my new poster and something for Shiri (which we decided to keep and let Youval have instead).

The best art though was meeting Matt Odmark. I was wearing my green Jars t-shirt that I bought at the House of Blues. It has a silhouette of a guitarist and when I got up to Matt at the end, he points to my shirt and is like "Hey, that's me!" And I said, "Yeah, I know!" So we chatted about it and we (Matt, me AND Stephen- who I've talked to before for about 10 minutes about his tattoo in Hebrew) discussed the awesomeness of the shirt and the silhouette and then he signed my shirt right about the silhouette and even though they were trying to move people along, he took a picture with me (see below!). These guys are so awesome! I love it!
Didn't get to talk to much to Stephen and Charlie but they are both fabulous as well. And check out Stephen's laughing face above! Precious!
We had some kill time while listening to Robert Randolph (a SWEET pianist and guitarist) so we took some fun pictures.
And of course had to take a picture of the Chik-Fil-A ad. Although if I'm being honest, I was actually trying to take a picture of the cows for Shiri but when I looked at the picture, this is what came up on the screen! It's all good :)
And then Switchfoot arrived. I had seen them the most recent with Relient K. Still, they were fabulous. They sang a ton of songs from their newest CD, O Gravity, but also a bunch of their oldies but goodies: Learning to Breathe and Meant to Live were two of those. Jon Foreman is so incredibly passionate when he sings. It's pretty inspiring.

And of course, who could forget the amazing cellist. Same guys as last time but still just as great, if not greater. He came out for a few songs, including Home, the song that they wrote especially for the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian movie. I absolutely love that song and it was great to hear it live since Prince Caspian hadn't come out at the last concert.

Probably one of the coolest songs was American Dream. They had images projected on the screen during the choruses, old black and white video reels. Of course, American Dreams is a really great song right now since the American Dream is crashing for a lot of people right now during the crazy financial crisis that's going on right now. The coolest part though was when they froze in the red light.

It was right before they sang "This is my American Dream...." and they were all frozen in position for a good minute, I think. It definitely kept us all on the edge of our seat (well, we hardly sat- only a little bit during Third Day), waiting for the rest of the chorus. Still, it was very eye-catching and a trippy part of the show.

Oh epic cello-ness!

Last but not least, Third Day arrived. I have seen Third Day before as well but I didn't really know them too well. They sang a ton of new songs from their new CD, which was also bought, this time for $10. Mac Powell has such an amazing voice and his songs are so incredibly powerful! Just like Switchfoot, he sang the new songs but also a ton of oldies, including God of Wonders, which was pretty awesome to be singing with everyone else in the crowd. Their new songs were fabulous though. I'm so excited for the new CD!

Of course, no concert ends without bringing everybody back onstage. Robert Randolph came on first but then Jars showed up and Dan and Mac sang "I'll Fly Away" together. One of my favorite hymns, other than Amazing Grace. Their voices were both so incredibly powerful and everybody and I mean everybody was singing along.


And finally, they brought Switchfoot out as well and literally brought down the entire house by singing a version of U2's "When Love Came to Town". This is what I love about these amazing artists. Their message is so powerful, yet they can reach anybody through their music. I have become a Third Day fan simply because of their awesome message and their catchy songs that reflect what I'm thinking. I had such a blast at the concert and I'm so glad that Youval and I got to go!

The sound that makes me punch babies

We all have one. And mine is the sound of rain on tarp. Apparently it rained last night. First of al, WTF? No one said anything about rain. But whatever, it's all good. I love the rain. But not when it bangs on tarp. And not at 4:00 AM. And not when I have no idea what the sound is. And not when it prevents me from falling asleep so I have to turn my fan and my audio recording on Prince Capsian. And not when I have no idea where my headphones are so I cann't even use those to block out the sound. And not when I have to get up early to teach music and chorus and theater to a bunch of middle school kids. Rain on tarp=no bueno in my book.

In my "elder" years

I used to not be too emotional about silly things like TV shows and movies. The only two that would kind of get me at the end were Mr. Holland's Opus and Remember the Titans. At least those are legitimate movies to get emotional about. Remember the Titans, you've got life-changing injuries, Gerry Bertier in the bed with his arms outstretched when they win, everyone dancing when they walk into the stadium, "can't you see he's my brother", of course, the winning in the end and everyone meeting up again at the funeral. Tearjerker, for sure.


And of course, for a music lover, Mr. Holland's Opus is devastatingly sad and happy and emotional at the end. Of course, it all starts when he does the light show for his deaf son's school and then sings "Beautiful Boy" to Cole, which gets the tears starting. And then there's when all of his students come back together to perform his opus. Unfortunately, that also means that Mr. Holland is leaving because the school is cutting the music program, which is devastating in its self. When the dumb red-head mayor/governor/senator/whatever she is introduces the opus and then sits down in her dang clarinet chair because she's the dang red-head chick who couldn't play worth beans, I lose it! (And when I say dumb and dang, it's simply because that's the only way I can control my tears now).


Now, for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I have started to get far too emotional. I started tearing up when I saw the preview for the dang Bucket List. The preview! And I didn't even attempt to go see the movie! Forget about it. And I'm not even a Jack Nicholson or Morgan Freeman fan!

But that started off a trend. I started majorly tearing up at nearly every single slightly emotional movie. But where I really lost it was Amazing Grace. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon, nobody was home, and I was sitting at home watching Amazing Grace. I knew the story- William Wilberforce attempting to stop the British slave trade, getting sicker and sicker, facing opposition, trying to figure out which of the two identical old men were the good and bad one, the death of Equiano who never got to see the result of their work, etc. Of course, Amazing Grace in itself is one of my favorite hymns anyway and I can still recite the John Newton speech from Psalty. But I never thought that the movie was hit me like it did. At the end, when they announce the votes for the abolition of the slave trade and they show all of the shots of the various characters (and I'm sure Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace was in the background but I might be making that up....), I am sitting in my house, alone, bawling! Uncontrollably! It was ridiculous!


And then finally, this morning. I haven't had time at all to watch TV at night, so I've been catching up when I haven't been working on when I get back. So this morning, I sit and watch ER. I knew that a "fan favorite" was going to die. but honestly, I thought they were going to pull a usual ER and have some sort of surprise ending. But when they rolled Pratt upstairs and had those amazing shots of Chunie and Haleh watching and crotchety Frank squeezing his shoulder before going into the elevator, I knew it was over. Pratt! Why Pratt! Just like most characters on ER (Archie Morris in particular), you can't stand him at first but he totally grows on you. I would say that he was one of my favorites. And now he's gone! At the beginning of the season! I can understand maybe at the end but man.... what are you doing to me! I haven't watched ER since the beginning but I can count on both hands I think all the characters they've gotten rid of- Dr. Greene (who apparently is making his way back this season... in flashbacks??), John Carter, Michael Gallant, Kerry Weaver, Alex Kingston (why the heck can't I remember her ER name! The British gal who was married to Dr. Greene!), Shane West (oh Shane!!!! You lost your spot on ER and your legs!), Luka, Dr. Romano (OK, I wasn't sad about him), and that was just the regualr characters. That doesn't count the coming and going characters- like the chick from 3rd Rock from the Sun who didn't like Sam and fired Haleh, Dr. Skye the weirdo, the doctor that Abby cheated on Luka with (what the heck was his name? Man, I'm losing it!). So I cry when Pratt dies and then when I think I'm under control, smiling at their fun little get together at Ikes and the toast with the mozzarella sticks (which I am now craving), I cry again when I see that dang Abby is leaving! AUGH!!!!!! I can't take it!!!

Oh emotions.... how you toy with me!!!

Love....

Love is a movement.

Love can be shown in many languages.

Love is a many-splendoured thing.

Love is in the house.

Love has taken its toll on me.

Love came to town.

Love is all you need.

Love lifts us up where we belong.

Love is my religion.

Love asks me no questions, and gives me endless support...

Love is like a rumor, everyone talks about it, but no one truly knows.

Love is a haunting melody that I have never mastered.

Love me do.

Love, Love, Love. All you need is love.

This is your life?

I just got back from the Jars of Clay, Switchfoot and Third Day concert and I promise I will post about that tomorrow. However, it did get me thinking about a lot of things that are going around in my life right now.

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

These lyrics by Switchfoot have been running through my mind. Am I who I want to be? Is my life what I wanted and dreamed it to be? That's a HUGE questions and one that the answer isn't very happy.

Because often times, no, my life isn't everything I dreamed it to be. I've done a lot of things in the past that I'm not proud of. There are things in the future that I'm not happy about. There are things that I wish I had done and things I wish that I hadn't done. I still have dreams that I'm pretty sure will never be fulfilled and experiences I had that I wish I could give back. For example:

I'm mortified when I think back on the way that I treated people I didn't like when I was little.

I'm ashamed how I was like the silent Mean Girl. I stood by while my friends were cruel to each other and to those who didn't deserve it.

I wish that I had been more social in college.

I regret letting myself get overweight and I struggle with trying to keep that from happening every single day.

I wanted to be a rockstar. I wanted to be on a stage under bright lights and have hundreds of people cheer for me and sing along with me.

I curse my shyness because I know that it's kept me from meeting and becoming friends with so many people.

I still have trouble accepting my name. It gets very tiring to have people cough up a lung when trying to say my name.

I'm shocked when I think back to how much hard-earned money I just let slip down the drain when I was in high school. And when I think of my parents hard-earned money that I squandered when I was in college.

I sometimes feel like I'm going to be a sub forever and never move out of my parents house.

Sometimes I wish I could live in the fantasy world of my stories. Oh man, that would be nice.

There are times when I wonder if a guy will ever find me attractive or fall in love with me.

I've lost a great many friends that I wish I hadn't lost- some through no fault of my own and others through faults of my own.

There are definitely more but it's late and this is all that comes into mind right now. But where am I now is my life. I've created it through the decision that I've made and I know that in the larger scheme of things, God has destined all of this to happen. So I should be satisfied. And at times I am. But sadly, most of the time, I feel a great deal of regret.

Sigh.....

Worship

The last two nights I've experienced two incredibly different but both still incredibly inspiring examples of worship. I love worship- I love praise, I love the singing, I love the feel of being wrapped up in God's love, I can't get enough of it! I love that worship can happen anywhere- at camp, at church, in your car, in your room, on a mountain top, on the beach, anywhere. I love how it can take so many different forms and these two and I experienced these past two nights were amazing.

The first was at jr. high group on Wednesday. Outside of summer and winter camp, I have never seen such enthusiasm during worship. We were signing some pretty upbeat songs but still, every single kid was jumping up and down, dancing on couches, doing the hand motions, clapping, singing their hearts out, shouting and just praising the Lord with everything they had in them. It was in inspiring to see- these young kids, insecure, unsure of themselves, dealing with so many things- were just jumping up and down and praising Jesus. It was so cool to see! I am absolutely in love with these kids!

Then last night, was the total opposing. We had about 17-18 people at college group and all of us were sitting in a big circle- in the couch, in the floor, on the stools. Alvia and Seth were leading but we were all just singing together. During one of the songs, we kind of forgot some of the lyrics and it was so cool because we were all kind of mumble and hum along during the unknown lyric was just get much louder when we saw "still more awesome than I know...." It was pretty entertaining and we were all laughing while we were worshipping. At one point during the night, I opened my eyes and looked around the room. We were all in fellowship together while worshiping but we were also all in our own fellowship with God. Everyone's eyes were closed, everyone had a certain peaceful expression on their face, it was really cool to witness.

That's what I love about worship. We all are joined together by singing the same songs and singing to the same God. Yet at the same time, worship is a clearly personal act between you and God. It's individual yet communal at the same time. There are not a lot of things that have the same situation. But you have that with worship and that's why I love it.

Some Interesting Late Night Experiences

Why do most interesting/creepy experiences tend to happen at night? Candice and I were pondering that situation while watching Supernatural the next two nights. We never worried when something was going on during the day because seriously.... nothing bad happens during the day. It's just at night when things get interesting. Take the last two nights for example (and with a lake walk with Megan, Jenny and maybe Ada tomorrow, it could be three nights in a row!)


Let's start with Tuesday night. I ate WAY too much lasagna and bread and then drank almost a full bottle of soda (not the big ones sillies.... you know what I mean). So after House, I was still so incredibly stuffed. I felt like a pin cushion. So I told Candice that before Ghostfacers, we HAD to go on a walk. So we did. It was a lovely night- the moon was almost full, the temperature was warm, no clouds, it was beautiful. Candice has a quiet neighborhood so we were just walking and talking about my Parables talk when this kid roller bladed past us. OK, not a big deal but just then these two squawky birds flew over our head. Honestly, I thought they were bats. But they weren't. Bats don't make noise like that. However, great minds (hahahaha) must think alike cuz Blade-y up ahead of us, calls back to us and asks us if we know what kind of bird it is? He suggests it a bat when we respond that we don't know and we kind of shrug. He then proceeds to ask us where we're going (to which we respond that we're just walking....) and then waits for us to catch up with him. Odd. Then it gets weirder! He starts rollerblading next to us at the speed that we're walking. He's not even talking to us, he's just rollerblading next to us. Bizarre! Finally, he speeds up and Candice leans over to me and whispers "Um, so I'd be worried about this if he wasn't fourteen." But he was fourteen so it was fine.

What was not fine was the car of five guys that parked right as we were walking through the park. It was very much an Outsiders scene- Ponyboy and Johnny sitting in the park, minding their own business, when Randy, Bob and the rest of the Socs show up.... that kind of creepy. We made a severe left turn, quickly circled round and headed for home to avoid the carful of guys that outnumbered us 5-2. And then I thought things would be OK until I heard a loudspeaker say something and Candice says "Don't worry, that's just the prison."

I beg your pardon?????

But that, to say the least, was no the weirdest experience I've had because I must talk about tonight. Jenny and I are alone in the jr. high room, just chatting about the girls and life and whatever when this older man pokes his head into the room, takes a look around and at us and then leaves. We don't know who this man is, he doesn't look familiar and we're kind of nervous. So Jenny's like "come on, get your keys and let's go!" Just as we're about to walk down the stairs, he comes back down the hall. We can't not say anything so I ask him if we can help him with someone. He replies that he was just looking for a pastor or something and so I tell him that there's nobody around and they've all gone home. I made sure he gets down the stairs, I lock up both doors and as he's walking to his car, he turns around and asks us if we know Mark Van. We say yes but tell him Mr. Van's definitely not here and could we pass on a message? He said no and starts to walk dejectedly to his car.

Well, this certainly NOT the beginning of a Supernatural episode where the VOTW (Victim of the Week) gets off-ed before Sam and Dean can arrive but it was weird nonetheless. The guy did not look good- he looked like he was in a super dark place, really depressed, his white button-down was hanging onto him, he looked like he needed help. I just couldn't let him drive away so I called after him to wait and said that I'd pop into the high school room and see if anyone was there. Luckily, Joey was in there talking to Jeremy and right after I finished telling Joey the story, the man pokes his head in. Joey and Jeremy go to talk to him while Jenny and I wait inside for a good fifteen minutes. I think Joey got him to call up the church the next day and make an appointment to talk to one of the senior pastors and the man went off on his way. I was really glad that Joey was there to take control of the situation because I really didn't want the guy to leave in the state of mind that he is. So hopefully my awkward good deed of the day helped.

I am eagerly anticipating what the night has in store for me tomorrow..... hehehehehe.

On Broadway...

OK, so I've always wanted to sing on Broadway. Not in the I practice singing for years and years, train my voice, standing in line at 6 AM to audition for show, waitressing to earn money while I live in a tiny apartment with three weird roommates in Hells Kitchen. Just in how I've LOVED Broadway musicals most of my life, have downloaded kareoke versions of some songs so I can sing along and of course, will sing aloud as long as I can to any musical that I can.

So this begs the question.... would I ever to be on Broadway....if I could stand onstage once and perform any role I wanted to.... which one would it be? I can't answer that so here is a list of those roles that I would die to play.

Christine in Phantom of the Opera: First of all, I can't hit every single note that she does (but almost....) BUT we're dreaming now, aren't we? Ever since I heard Sarah Brightman sing this role, especially the one part in "Twisted Every Way" that gives me chills, I've wanted to play this role.
The Narrator in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: OK, so I'm not exactly sure what her title is so we'll call her Narrator. She's pretty much onstage at all times and she basically tells the story. So she rocks.

Eponine in Les Miserables: Mainly because I can't stand Cosette and I love how caring the men are for her after she's killed for Marius, a dumb guy who loves stupid Cosette. And because I felt sorry for her.

Scaramouch in We Will Rock You: She don't take no crap from no one. Plus, she's got some AMAZING songs and gets to wear one of the coolest costumes ever. But not Crazy Little Thing Called Love, but it's OK because her attitude makes up for it. She puts Galileo and everyone else in their place.

Lady of the Lake in Spamalot: Her role ROCKS! She gets to sing opera, scat, jazz, she's got a whole song about how her part has been taken away from her, and her green dress is fantastic!

Cathy in The Last Five Years: Oh man, her part makes me want to cry. But her songs are out of this world. And heartbreaking. And sometimes I just want to SMACK Jamie for making Cathy so sad. And then I want to smack Cathy for being an idiot and not loving Jamie like she should. Oh man, this show is complicated!

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Susan/Kareess in tick...tick...BOOM: OK, so it would basically be the entire female contingency in this show since the entire cast is two males and one female but still.... she gets to go from an almost strip-tease in Green Green Dress to a fight in Therapy to some amazing duets/trios with Johnny and Michael. And the finale of that show, especially her part at the acapella section is phenomenal.

Mother in Ragtime: She is the strongest character in the whole show and the way that she holds together her family, other families, seemingly the whole Ragtime era is epic.
Elphaba in Wicked: Mostly her over Glinda because I happen to like Idina Menzel a smidge more than Kristin Chenoweth (who I still adore, don't get me wrong....) and also because she ends up with Fiyero (and who doesn't love Norbert Leo Butz...) and her songs are awesome. The one song of Glinda's that I really like is Thank Goodness and is Elphaba sang Thank Goodness, the part would be epic. Although it would be odd for Elphaba to sing Thank Goodness because half of the part is anti-Elphaba.

Now there are lots more that I would play but these are my top ones. I know that Broadway dream will never be fulfilled so for now I'll have to be content with my Original Broadway Cast CDs and my ipod.

Mere Christianity

I just started reading this amazing book by the even more amazing C.S. Lewis and so far I could not be more enamoured by it. It's obviously totally different in writing style from the Planet Trilogy and even farther from the Narnia series. But so far, despite only being about eight chapters into it, I've found it so intriguing and it makes so much sense! My favorite part so far is his analogy of being a Christian to being in enemy-occupied territory. Lewis writes:

"Enemy-occupied territory-- that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage. When you go to church you are really listening=in to the secret wireless from our friends: that is why the enemy is so anxious to prevent us from going. He does it by playing on our conceit and laziness and intellectual snobbery. I know someone will ask me, 'Do you really mean, at this time of day, to re-introduce our old friend the devil- hoofs and horns and all?' Well, what the time of day has to do with it I do not know. And I am not particular about the hoofs and horns. But in other respects my answer is 'Yes I do'. I do not claim to know anything about his personal appearance. If anybody really wants to know him better I would say to that person, 'Don't worry. If you really want to, you will. Whether you'll like it when you do is another question.'"

So often Christianity does seem like a battle. As a Christian, there are so many people against you- people like those who persecute, those who believe it other religions and want to put Christians in their place, and of course, the Devil and has ability to tempt us and try and pull us away from the right path. It's a daily fight to stay on the right path- all around us there are temptations, there are roadsigns that look so much more inviting and it's so easy in today's society to fall into pitfalls. We're fighting on enemy battleground but we have the best weapon on our side. First of all, if we don't survive out battle, we go to a paradise that is more wonderful than one hundred times the most beautiful place on earth. Additionally, we have the strongest soldier on our side. Even though the devil himself attempted to get to Jesus by taking him through the wilderness, the devil did not succeed. Jesus stood up to the devil, using scripture as his ammunition. We can use his example to give us support and ammunition as well. It is so good to know that with God's word in our heart, we can stand up to any enemy.

I know that I'm not far into Mere Christianity yet but I'm really excited to get more into it and see what awesome gems Mr. Lewis has to offer. I've always been a fan of Lewis and am so excited to be reading some of his deeper thoughts.

Besties

So I just got done laughing, walking, praying and crying with my two best friends. I have some amazing friends in my life and am so blessed by them but I cannot physically, verbally, emotionally, etc. express how much I love these two girls. Megan and Amanda are probably the two people who know me best in this entire world. They know my hopes, my dreams, my fears. They know my insecurities (and man oh man, are there a lot of those). They know so much about me and honestly, there is no possible way that I would have made it through this year without them. I have so many incredible memories with these ladies- sitting curled up on Megan's couch late one night rereading our favorite moments of the Shack; numerous walks around the lake; coloring and baking cakes and decorating with homemade frosting; Legacy nights, cooking and sharing with the group; looks shared across the room at college group about some inside joke; sharing two very unique stories about wedding experiences on the lawn across the street from my house; Monday coffee dates and prayer times; excursions to Rite Aid where we discussed ugly glasses, the best deodorant and make-up, which eating ice cream; going to the Counter and having the best server ever....; I seriously could go on and on and on. These two amazing girls are my rock. They have supported me through thick and thin, through the good times and the bad times, through laughter and tears, through pretty much everything. Ecclesiastes 5:12 says what I feel about them best: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. I know that I am going to be in love with these girls for the rest of my life and I know that we are going to be lifelong friends.

My Miss Megan is truly an amazing person. I don't think that I have ever become friends with somebody so quickly. One get to know you date over coffee was all that it took for us to become inseparable. She is such an inspiration to me- the insight that she has to so many of my problems is amazing and all the help that she's given me since I've known her proves that she is going to be an amazing therapist. She is right there on the exact same page as me. Oftentimes I won't want to say something because its awkward or uncomfortable and there's Megan, saying exactly what I feel, making me not feel as alone. We have also had some special times, my favorite being the night on the beach. We were only there for about an hour but siting on the "sheet" underneath dinosaur and Batman blankets, talking about our pasts and experiences and life stories was amazing. Plus, who could forget the CREEPSTER on the motorbike that caused us to pee in our pants he was so scary! She is constantly getting me involved- calling me to come have coffee or hang out or go listen to Seth and Alvia play and never once have I felt awkward or uncomfortable around her and Kasey. I am so excited for this next year of our relationship and cannot wait for the numerous adventures I know that we're going to have.

And then there is my dear, darling Amanda. I will never ever forget Fish Fest when we snuck in at the end of the line and got to meet Toby Mac and chat with him for a bit. That's one of my first and favorite memories of her, my freshman buddy (who I sadly had to break ranks with when I graduated early and we were no longer seniors together). Honestly though, I couldn't tell you for the life of me how Amanda and I became so close. It just seemed like overnight, we were best friends and talking for hours about anything and everything Amanda is one of the wisest people I know. No matter how low or sad or insecure or depressed I feel, she knows exactly what to say. And she's given me the opportunity to counsel her as well and give back to her what she's given to me. Our experiences go from super-fun like the Switchfoot/Relient K concert (cello!) to super-serious like the long talk we had at midnight the day that I was fired and when she was going through relationship issues. I know that I can always come to her for anything and she is there with a comforting word, some good advice, spiritual support and a huge hug and kiss. This girl has the coolest adventure standing in front of her when she goes up to Hume and I cannot wait to hear about her experiences and how God has changed her.

But seriously, though. I have the most amazing best friends in the world and feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world because of these two phenomenal ladies. Megan and Amanda, I LOVE YOU!

In Christ Alone

We sang this song several times up at Hume and it totally rocked me. I am in awe of the most awesome God that I believe in. The last verse is my absolute favorite. It is so true! Christ is AMAZING!

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Faith

I've been thinking a lot about faith recently, mostly because I know that right now I really need a lot of it. I'm going into a very scary time in my life- I don't have a job, I really don't know where my future is heading. I have absolutely no idea what is ahead of me and if I don't have my faith that my Father knows exactly what is going to happen to me, I will be absolutely lost. So that's pretty much what I'm leaning on right now, my faith.

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On Sunday afternoon, up at Hume, we experience the ropes course. This was an amazing metaphor for my life right now. The ropes course was absolutely and categorically terrifying. I have never been so afraid in my life. Navigating the ropes takes a huge leap of faith- faith in this dinky little harness, faith in the cables, faith in the ropes, faith in the instructors and certainly a faith in Jesus that He's not going to take you home at that moment. It was such a good exercise for me to participate in. There is absolutely no way that I would have made it across some of those ropes if I didn't have faith in so many different things. Faith takes so much courage but I also realized that you can't go it at completely alone. Having friends that you trust and love and that love you back are so incredibly vital. I would not have made it without friends on the ground calling up encouragement nor without the help of those coming behind me, constantly encouraging me and helping me continue and having faith in ME that I could do it. Even sometimes a physical helping hand is needed, as when I crossed the balance beam.



It seemed like a little theme of the Hume Lake weekend was on faith, which was also so wonderful. On Sunday, Josh Riebock, our speaker, talked about the Jesus walking on water and how Peter took a leap of faith stepping out onto the boat. He made some awesome points which he said a lot of Christians miss. First of all, Peter asked Jesus if he could walk out onto the water. He called out to Jesus and that is the first step. Jesus also then said to come out onto the water. Any other human would have said, "don't be crazy, stay in the boat where it's somewhat safe". But Jesus calls Peter out into the storm. Jesus wants us to live in faith with him. God calls us to be where its unsafe because that exactly where we are supposed to be. He also said that so many of us today are like the disciples who stayed on the boat. We've lost our edge, we've lost of faith, we've lost the relience on God. We need to get out into the water and become fully, 100% dependent on God. Josh also made the point that when Peter was sinking, he didn't look back to the boat, he looked ahead to Jesus. The process of stepping out of that boat- or in my case that afternoon, out onto the single rope- was a leap of faith but it is a leap that will result in being caught in the strong arms of my God.



I did it. I survived the ropes course. And I know that with the knowledge that I am secure in my faith in God, I will survive this scary time ahead.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Starting Out

It's been a crazy year since I left college/grad school. Lots of ups, lots of down, lots of living and lots of learning. As I set off on this second year after graduation, I know I'm going to be doing a lot of the same. And hence this blog- to get down my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences and what I'm learning. Because that's what I want to do. I want to live and I want to learn.